Priorities & God's Will

I'm thinking today about a precious new friend Rosi and a priceless friend Tracy.

Both are facing big turning points in their lives. Both are making choices according to God's will for their lives. I admire them both so much.

A really common question these days is, "How do I know God's will for my life?" Or, for those without a faith and devotion to Jesus, they say, "Life feels like it's spinning out of control, how do I know the true priorities for my life?"

I cannot answer this in entirety; I'm a seeker, just like you. But I can share with you what I've discovered in my own life and now watch in the lives of my devoted friends.

Years ago, Cheryl, another powerhouse woman I know shared something she'd heard at a women's conference that she thought was remarkable. The speaker there had shared that knowing our priorities is actually very simple: We just need to look first to all the things that ONLY WE were created to do and make sure we do those things first. I will add that we should also commit ourselves to do those things in the order in which they arrived in our lives.

And I will testify that following this simple formula has brought ABUNDANT blessings and OVERFLOWING peace to my life.

Here's how it works in my life. I was first created to be the daughter of a KING. That occurred at birth...no, conception...no, even before conception. I am not the ONLY daughter of the KING; however, I have been created one-of-a-kind. I'm the ONLY Linda Sue Wilson Locarnini Stephens born on December 21, 1964 at 8:15am. God's desire is that I accept my full inheritance (Matthew 25:34; Acts 20:32; Ephesians 1:18; Colossians 3:24; Galatians 4:4) as His adopted daughter and learn more every day about what it means to be fully His. That happened first, so that is my FIRST priority.

Next, He placed me in the care of two adults...my parents. Their competence at this task is irrelevant. (Exodus 20:12; Matthew 19:18) I am/was their ONLY child named Linda and, as this happened second, this is my SECOND priority.

Lots of stuff happened between birth and marriage; but it was stuff that happens to everyone and is common across people groups. There was really nothing, during this time, that was ONLY me.

So, the next thing to examine was marriage. For a time, I was my first husband's ONLY love. That should have placed him next in priority; but I did not know Jesus at this time in my life and I was a very self-serving person. I did not make him my next highest priority in life after my Father or parents and our marriage failed.

The temptation was this: I was a college graduate. I was not, however, the ONLY one. I was making LOTS of money in management; but I was not the ONLY one. I was a good employee...often exemplary; but, in retrospect, I was not the ONLY one created for these workplace tasks. Placing this as a higher priority than other areas where I was created to be the ONLY was toxic to my life and did not bring blessings; instead this brought further burdens multiplied on themselves.

I was left lonely.

My life began to turn around with my decision to be Derek's ONLY wife. Yes, he had a wife before and she was his daughter's ONLY mother (and still is). But now Derek and I made a commitment to be each other's ONLY spouse. This role became my THIRD priority.

Now, some of you will freak out right now saying, "A man should leave his [earthly] father and mother and a woman should leave her [earthly] father and mother and be joined together..." and I agree with you that, once you're an adult, parents should slip below the priority of your husband. That is, of course, if you are not the ONLY child they have. I'm probably creating controversy here; but I will clarify this in just a minute.

When we knew that God had given us Blake...and later Bryson...I discovered the joy of being their ONLY mother partnered with Derek, their ONLY father. My FOURTH priority. Here arrived a new temptation: I felt a very strong pull to make these precious babies my FIRST priority and I often slipped into this tempting behavior. And when I would behave this way, peace would drain away and be replaced by anything from discontent to all-all chaos.

When I would return to making my FIRST thing first and my SECOND thing second, my THIRD thing third, I would present my babies with a confident and loving, peace-filled mommy. Joy!

Being an acts of service lover and a words of affirmation lover, the workplace is/was a HUGE temptation for me. The workplace is where I can put my hands on something and it feels less redundant (making beds and doing dishes are SOOOO redundant) and more rewarding. And hearing "kudos" about work well done tempts me to make the workplace my FIRST priority. Again, each time I've done this, Peace has left me empty and lonely and often blaming and battling against my higher priority people because of those feelings. Only prayer and obedience to these Divine priorities has restored things right.

Now, I will clarify a time that earthly parents might become a higher priority than husband or wife.

These discovered natural priorities were REALLY put to the test in January of 2005. My mother lay dying in hospice care. The day nurses were competent; but the night staff was uncaring and not showing her the dignity my mother deserved. I will also share with you that she was embroiled (oooh, good word) in a spiritual battle while she lay in that hospital bed. Right around her birthday (January 11) I was told she had only days to live. Being her ONLY child, and with my husband's blessing, I resolved to stay with her and ensure her final days were honoring to her and were spent in full anticipation of Jesus.

But the battle continued. Although I was told she could live only days without food and water, she lived more than a week longer. On January 17, my sweet Bryson turned 4 and I cried my eyes out as I missed his birthday party. Many friends said, "You should go to your son's birthday party. How sad that Bryson will remember his party without his mommy."

Yes, I am Bryson's ONLY mommy; but I was also my mother's ONLY child. I prayed and journaled and struggled. In the end, I had to evaluate the critical role I played in each situation. As my father had died years earlier and my mother had no other relatives here, I was the ONLY one who could properly and legally advocate for my mother's care and dignity.

Bryson, on the other hand, was surrounded by many who would make his party outstanding and filled with love and smiles. There were many women (including Aunt Joy and friend Kelli) who loved and played with Bryson that day. I cried as I missed it; but felt peace in proper priorities. No, it didn't "feel right"; but I felt Divine confirmation.

My mother died on January 22, defying all the rules (as she did throughout her life) of how long someone can live without liquid, and I have full confidence that she joined all those surrounding Jesus in unending worship in Heaven.

Later, friend Kelli told me a story about Bryson's birthday party. Feeling sad my sadness in missing the event, Kelli had scooped Bryson into her arms and asked him, "Bryson, do you know how much your mommy loves you?" He quickly and confidently replied, "Yes! She loves me to Pluto and back 500 times!"

Bryson knew that in his head...and he knew that in his heart...because we had played that "I love you more" game every night for years. Turns out, my 4-year-old boy had NO concerns about my priorities. God, himself, I believe had reassured Bryson throughout the entire season. Another blessing for proper priorities!!

Today, I pray for Rosi and Tracy as they embrace these priorities even as the world tempts them to be swayed. They are putting FIRST first, SECOND second and THIRD third and I KNOW they will encounter trials and temptations and maybe even sadness and longing; but I also KNOW that their full commitment to their Divinely ordered priorities will ultimately bring them the best gift of all in this world of chaos...Peace reigning in their hearts and an outward expression of joy.

Go girls!!

Leave It All to Me

Okay, I know you all count on me to be deep and insightful.

So, you'll no doubt be surprised that the inspiration for this blog post is the TV show iCarly. I just love that show! Complete silliness!! I can't decide if I like Spencer the best or Sam. And I have to say that actress Miranda Cosgrove is a super-great "straight man" to all the comedy that happens around her on the show. I also like that my kids think it's "cool weird" to have a mom that can't wait until they premiere a new episode of iCarly.

I was listening to my iPod this morning...

...funny side note: my husband, Derek, has been taking my iPod shuffle to the gym with him. It's got some amazingly deep and insightful contemporary worship songs on it. I imagine him listening to TobyMac and David Crowder and Chris Tomlin....and then BAM! Miranda Cosgrove suddenly begins singing the iCarly theme song. Makes me laugh just thinking about what the look on his face must be at that moment.



And yes, my friend Paula Hall, Go Fish is also on that iPod. You should see Derek dance to THOSE songs!!

Oops, back to the iPod story. I was cleaning house this morning, as part of family stewardship time. And the iCarly song came on. I suddenly began cleaning at twice the speed and bouncing up and down to the cute little tune. Fun!

When it was done, I felt a bizarre Holy moment happening. Are you kidding me? God wants to speak to me about iCarly? I restarted the song and sat down and just listened to the words. Then, I called each of the boys to my side (they were grateful for a break in cleaning) and we shared ear buds and listened again...and again.

I told the boys, "Listen for fun at first. Then, listen to the song as if God was singing it directly into your heart. From His Heart to yours. And then from your heart to His" I watched as both of them brightened, began nodding their heads and listening with a new perspective.

So, I share the lyrics with you and wonder if you might enjoy them as a love song from Him to you! You see, (and here's the deep insightful part you might have come to know and love from me) I believe that there's a place in each of our hearts that cries out for God and hears His message for us and longs to answer Him. Believers either know or strive to learn what to do with His message to their hearts. But people who don't yet have that personal relationship with Him still hear Him and, not knowing what to do with what He's telling them, write lyrics like these:

(imagine God singing this to your heart)
I know you see
somehow the world will change for Me
And be so wonderful
Live life, breathe air
I know somehow were gonna get there
And feel so wonderful

I will make you change your mind
These things happen all the time
And It's all Reeeaaaaal
I'm telling you just how I feel

So, wake-up the members of My Nation
It's your time to BE
There's no chance unless you take one
Take the time to see
the brighter side of every situation

Some things are meant to be
So give Me your best and leave the rest to Me

(imagine your heart singing this to God)
I know its time
to raise the hand that draws the line
And be so wonderful
Golden sunshine
I know [with You] its gunna be mine
And BE so wonderful

(God sings to you)
Show me what you can become
There’s a dream in everyone
And It's all reeeaaaaal
I’m telling you just how I feel

So, wake-up the members of My Nation
It's your time to BE
There's no chance unless you take one
Take the time to see
the brighter side of every situation

Some things are meant to be
so give Me your best and leave the rest to me

Leave it all to Me
Leave it all to Me

So make it Mine
and see it through
you know you wont be free until you...

wake-up the members of My Nation
It's your time to be
There's no chance unless you take one
Take the time to see
the brighter side of every situation

Some things are meant to be
so give me your best and leave the rest to Me

Leave it all to me...Leave it all to me...Just leave it all to me

For those that need to hear the catchy-little-tune in order to enjoy it, here's a link:

iCarly Theme Song




I feel an enormous blessing, honor and calling to help children (especially my own) look for God everywhere and in everything and, in knowing Him and seeing Him, find an unending passion to serve Him.

Instinct

I want to go "on record" that these days, since the beginning of February, have been both wonderful and terrible.

Wonderful to accept the invitation of a promotion and begin a job (Director of Children's Ministry at New Harvest Church) that I KNOW God has been preparing me to do for years...even though I didn't fully recognize it until now. It's been wonderful to feel His pleasure each day.

This makes me think of a quote from track and field hero Eric Liddell (made famous in Chariots of Fire) who said, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."

It's wonderful that God made me to do this work at New Harvest Church and when I do this work, I feel His pleasure! Wonderful that I've been given the extreme privilege of doing this work AND being with my children each day before and after school.

Terrible to be stricken with bronchitis and severe asthma during the same days. Terrible to be gasping for breath and coughing until I need to change my clothes (no additional details needed). Terrible to watch my family succumb to sinus infection one by one. Even sweet Charley has a sinus infection. Terrible to watch my handsome son lie in bed with 102 fever for 5 straight days, at the same time knowing that his grades need serious help. Terrible (for me) to see the house no longer in "tip top shape" as I've chosen to return to work full time.

Everything could feel hopeless. Except I know the source of real Hope.

I could be tempted to retreat. I could easily say, "I must've made the wrong decision. Clearly, if I would've made the right decision, everything would be easier." Instinctively, I want to run backwards to where I was when I was healthy, my family was healthy, the dog was healthy, the house was fully organized, color-coded and caught up. Instinctively, I am tempted by that mythical place in the past where everything was good and right and easier.

And then, as I do today, I hear Jesus say to me directly as He asked Peter in Mark 8:29 "But what about you?" Jesus asks. "Who do you say I am?"

And I realize in this moment that what I say by opening my mouth and using my vocal cords is NOTHING compared to what I say with my life.

When I run backwards, I may say with my mouth that Jesus is my Savior; but with my life, I say that Jesus is not strong enough to handle "terrible" sickness, chaos and disarray.

When I crave easy, I may say with my with my mouth that Jesus is my Lord; but with my life, I say that Jesus is someone I keep in a box--to call upon only when things get tough.

When I whine about uncertainty and disarray, I may say with my mouth that Jesus is my Provider; but with my life, I say that Jesus is not consistent and cannot be counted upon all the time to provide what's needed and direct us to what's important.

My greatest desire is that my life will reflect exactly who Jesus is. Favorite song lyrics float through my head: "I will stand up now, I will not step down, I will do my best to wear this crown but I need You as You guide me through today." (Artist Everyday Sunday) Another favorite phrase in the song brings conviction: "When will you wake up and see that it takes more than just you to get through this life?"

Let my life show that Jesus is my Savior (brought me out of a very deep pit and adopted me to be a princess belonging to Him). He is my Lord (he guides me through today and the evidence of his guidance in my life's yesterdays is everything fruitful) He is my provider (he keeps me humble and gives only what's needed, but never fails to provide ALL that's needed) and He is Love (the ONLY dependable model in my life of complete, unfailing, unconditional love).

You know, when I went looking for the Eric Liddell quote about feeling God's pleasure in your life, I found another one of his quotes that's a better finish to this blog than anything I could say.

"You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe your dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, "Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me." If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race."

Starting with the Edge Pieces...

Okay, so I'm reading in Genesis. Now wait, don't think I'm going to try reading the Bible from cover to cover. I think I would give up too soon for sure!!

Instead, I used the gift certificate I received for my birthday to buy a 365 day devotion that was totally Bible based; rather than what I usually gravitate toward. I usually like to get stuff by Max Lucado or Beth Moore or Randy Alcorn or... And, don't get me wrong, those writers are AWESOME! I just felt God reminding me that the "edge pieces" were His Word-not other popular people's opinion of His Word.

But that felt overwhelming. Why does doing the right thing the way it should be done always feel overwhelming? More on that later.

So, I persevered through the feeling of being overwhelmed and looked for a solution. And that's when I found a simple devotional book that presents scripture and then asks riveting questions.

I read the creation story. I was enjoying the whole thing until my heart stumbled upon this phrase: "God rested". I suddenly realized that I had never comprehended the idea of GOD, the ONE who knows all, created all, present now, present in the past, present in the forever future...resting. I still can't wrap my little pea-sized brain around God resting. Setting a forever example for us workaholics and do-do addicted people, He rested. What does the picture of God resting look like? I shouldn't be so surprised that I can't imagine this: it's taken me years to learn to rest. For years, I would try to rest only to find myself anxiously thinking about what I SHOULD be doing instead of resting. I felt guilty for resting.

God rests. God works and God rests. The edges are coming together....

Now, if I could just NOT feel overwhelmed about a little exercise here and there.....

Asking the wrong question...

I've been begging for an answer about something.

I want to be a good steward of how I spend the time that God has given me. Derek and I have learned the blessings of being good stewards of how we spend His money. There are BIG blessings in realizing that it's all His and we just need to be good managers.

I want to offer my best to the Lord. I want to spend what time I have the way He wants it spent, doing what He's created me to do, for the results that He has purposed.

Some say I take this too seriously and...true...that is my tendency. But today, as a New Year dawns, I'm thinking maybe we don't give this enough thought. I think many of us resolve to recreate our lives in January; but wake up and see where the day takes us the other eleven months of the year. I hear a lot of people saying things like, "I just don't know where the time's going."

So, yes, I want live "on purpose" for the Lord.

This verse in Ephesians 5: 16-17 motivates my drive for answers:

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,

making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

So, back to this morning's prayers. I prayed specifically, "Lord, show me how everything will fit. What things do I keep? What things do I say 'goodbye' to? Aspect? Finished in Five? Your gift of New Harvest has been wonderful; I know THAT'S a keeper; but what about the puny amount of the remainder of my time? How shall that be spent? Because I know you don't want me to bury it in the ground with mindless TV."

I asked in the car. I asked over coffee with dear friends. I asked while I did laundry.

But, once again, because I gave Him my time and undivided attention this morning, He could reward me with an answer. And because of how I'm wired, He answered with a picture.

I saw a picture of a 1000 piece puzzle all laid out on a table. There were a few center pieces that had been pieced together; but, otherwise, the pieces were all still scattered.

And, as I looked at the puzzle pieces, He said, "You're asking the wrong question, dear one. You need to put the edges together first before I can help you with the center."

My reply? "What are the edges?"

And He said, "The number one edge piece involves devoted time reading My Word. Second, you need to be spending time exercising to stay healthy. Next, you need to concentrate even more on the foundations of your family: your marraige. Once those 'edge pieces' are together, THEN we can talk about what should go inside."

OUCH!

I just seem to be filled with really weak excuses lately about why I'm not spending daily time reading the Bible and daily time exercising. And I'm a WRECK by the time Derek returns home from work. Just one hour per day protected for these things would do it, right? I could read for 30 minutes and walk (with Derek?) for 30 minutes. But I don't. Instead, I feel overwhelmed and over scheduled and entitled to a "break".

I think I hear Him telling me I'm taking a break from the wrong things. I'm taking a break from looking for...and connecting...my "edge pieces". After all, those are the things that will hold everything else together, right?

What are your "edge pieces"? Are you ignoring them, too? Is this why New Year's Resolutions have become so popular? And, at the same time so pathetic? Are we all trying to put together the insides of our puzzles without sorting through and attaching the edges first?

God's Perfect Provision

This morning I heard from God that there was a blog to write. I searched my heart and found some discontent in a couple of areas and wondered if I was to blog about that.

Then, I received an email from a wonderful woman and Crown Financial counselor that Derek and I had been blessed to visit. She saw our Christmas Card, saw that I had a new job, and wanted to know the juicy details.

As I was writing those juicy testimonial morsels to her in an email, I realized that the contentedness I feel in God as a Perfect Provider is the blog for today...not any dis-contentedness that might be distracting me.

Here's what I wrote to Kim:

God is so good; there must be better words to use to praise Him!

You’ll remember that when we met with you last Summer we had a gap in our budget. We had removed the "wants" focusing only on the "needs". In order to honor God, we needed more dependable income to cover our necessary expenses.

We reviewed. You offered wise counsel. We listened and we prayed.

And not even 7 days later the elementary school called out-of-the-blue to offer me a playground monitor job. You’ll also remember that I had been very honest and open about not liking other people’s children. I thought that the offer from the school was a joke or worse: temptation from the enemy to put myself in the worst possible job where I would waste away angry and bitter.

But after doing the math and knowing that this was God making the offer and not really the school, I reluctantly took the job. Remember when I told you, “Kim, you said that the Lord had something BIG for me working in ministry that pays. How could this job at the school have anything to do with that?” At the time, you laughed and agreed that this was DEFINITELY the Lord and I should say, "Yes!" and get to work.

I hated the heat. I hated the cold. But a love grew in my heart for those kids that my body didn’t even have room for. When the year was over, I thought sure I would return.

But then, summer was hard (no paycheck for a school worker). And then the economy took a turn. With the rising gas prices and food costs, the gap in our budget got larger. The job at the school was no longer going to fill that gap.

We prayed again and I began looking for work at supermarkets and banks. But no one called.

Then, New Harvest Church posted an opening for a job in Children’s Ministry. The job was 14 hours per week and didn't involve interacting with the kids directly; but instead involved providing all the necessary supplies for the small group leaders to do what they are gifted to do. It also involved maintaining the computer system that tracks attendance and provides data for the church to use...and finally it involved maintaining a team of greeters that welcomes first time families and helps them enroll and get settled into worship as their children are blessed in small group environments. WOW! It was perfect!

Now, I have to confess: If God hadn’t softened my heart on that Copper Hills playground, I NEVER have considered answering an ad for a Children’s Ministry job. I would’ve said, “Not for me! No way!!” and kept looking. I see God’s perfect hand in what’s called his Prevenient Grace in every step of this journey.

I started at New Harvest Church in August, grateful for good and challenging work.

Then, at the beginning of November, the gap in our budget enlarged again. Why I didn’t trust God completely and immediately, I don’t know. I’m an idiot! I panicked. I began thinking once again about trying to fix the gap with my human solutions. Maybe ANOTHER part-time job?

I'm grateful for a God that wastes no time in showing me that my human solutions are pathetic. No kidding…I panicked on a Monday. And on the Wednesday of that same week, a member of our staff surprisingly resigned so she could be at her son’s Sunday soccer games. I was sad, shocked and worried about who would replace her. Then, instead of replacing her, our management asked if I would consider having my job duties enlarged and my hours increased to 20 per week!!!! I still make my own schedule and I’m waiting outside each of my children’s schools when the bell rings.

God is Jehovah Jireh. He IS.

I worried that working at a church would tarnish my ability to worship God and I have found the opposite at New Harvest. My worship is richer and the integrity is inspiring me to be a better Christ follower every day.

I thank God for that night in your kitchen for your wise Godly counsel. I thank God for YOU and you storming The Throne on our family’s behalf and being SO IN TOUCH with the Lord that you spoke prophetic words into my life. What I'm working on IS BIG. The curriculum we are using and the strategy and philosophy align with Jesus’ heart more than anything I’ve ever seen and I’m excited each day to be a part of it.

I worry a little about the coming summer. How will I structure my hours and my kids' time while I work? But, silly me! I know God has provided everything before I even know to need it or ask. So, I’m DONE borrowing trouble that is not mine.

The Changing Table

Submission

Boy, I hate that word! Do you hate that word? For a woman who loves words and doesn't allow the "h" word (hate) to be used around her, that's a pretty bold statement.

The thing is, I don't really hate that word. Once again, when I really consider things, what I hate is what the world around us has done to twist that word and make it seem like a painful prison cell for married women.

Let's consider the common places and times that we hear the word SUBMIT used:

Cop show on TV: "You're going to have to submit to a polygraph test. We know you're lying!"
US Government: "You must submit your tax payment within 30 days or face a penalty"
Prospective Employer: "You must submit your application, along with 3 references..."

Now, let's look at the dictionary.com definition of submit.

Based on what I'm hearing in the world and reading in the dictionary, if I were to give you my personal impression of the day-to-day definition of submission, I would say that it's: doing something that you don't like to do at all, because you're being forced to do it. Does that definition make you want to say, "Yes! Sign me up for some of that submission stuff!"?

It should be absolutely no surprise then, that women (and especially Christian women) bristle (ooh, that's a good word!) at the thought of submission to their husbands as the Godly head of the household. But, this is what the church teaches, right?

And as women, moving either boldly or cautiously along the road of following Christ, we're trying to gain confidence to follow Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. This is our goal. And then WHAM! we hear the message of submission and YOU BET! sometimes we put on the brakes.

Wouldn't you know it? One of the first studies I signed up for, after joining Tuesday morning women's Bible study, was a study on the "beauty" of submission. Except this author never got around to describing the beauty part. She was clearly a legalist. The truth about legalists is this: they enjoy rules more than they enjoy a relationship with Christ. They are all about truth; but usually short on grace. Legalists generally enjoy the feeling they get following rules and often fantasize about seeing others getting busted when they don't follow the rules.

The central verse on the submission Bible study I attended was Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Here's my confession: what I was learning in this study was almost a "deal breaker" for me. It was a "God, you've got to be kidding me!" moment. This only-child of an alcoholic father, fiercely independent, survived-a-failed-marriage, learning to be a blended-family wife and now boy mom...was just NOT buying that this "wives should submit to their husbands in everything" was what God really wanted for my life. I was SURE in my heart that God did not create me to be a "doormat."

What did I do? Thankfully, instead of running away from my new faith, I prayed. I prayed another one of my "Linda being real" prayers. I think I prayed something like this, "God, I love you so much. And God...surely you're kidding me! This part of your Word is just not sitting well with me at all. Please show me what you REALLY mean or show me how in the world I'm going to REALLY do this."

And, being the Faithful Father that He is, He did!

Just a few days later, I was changing little Bryson's diaper. I had him up on the changing table and, as usual, I was wishing they had straight-jackets for babies (oh no! did I just say that out loud!) I longed for restraint of some sort because changing Bryson's diaper was ALWAYS a two-person job. One person was needed to hold him down and stop him from rolling over and getting up on his hands and knees...so the other person could do the strip, clean and replace routine. Only, moms, can I get an "Amen!" here?? There's only ONE of us!!

So, as I was trying to get through this ordeal, I was quoting my earthly father. Those of you who know me well, know that this is usually the start of a BIG problem. Quotes from Dad often contain, well, offensiveness.

In a low, drill-seargent-style voice, reminiscent of Dad, I said to Bryson, "Bryson, I'm GOING to change this diaper. And we can do this one of two ways. I've got the easy way...but if you want the hard way, I've got that, too!! Bryson, if you want to spend all afternoon fighting me on this changing table, you can! Just know that I WILL WIN! And you're wasting precious play time choosing the hard way!"

And, there it was! In that precise moment, God spoke directly into my heart. It was so loud I almost cried on the spot. He said,

"Daughter, you've just described submission as I intend it. You see, I've given you this man (Derek) to be in your life. You know in your heart that Derek is a gift from me, not some accidental choice. And, because you've given your life to me now and prayed begging Me for a changed life, YOU are on MY changing table.
My goals are the same as yours with Bryson in this moment: Strip, clean, replace. I want to strip you of your bad habits that are lies and are getting you nowhere. I want to clean you so that what flows out of you is Me. And I want to replace your sorrow with gladness. I will do this by using people I've placed around you. Some will be Christians, others will not. My primary tool will be Derek. There are good things that Derek has (that he might not even be aware are for you) that he WILL give you and do for you; but you MUST sit still and be completely open to the GIFTS that Derek has for you. You can fight Derek. You can compete with him for power. You can insult him, cutting him off at the knees with your belittling comments. You can even ignore him. But all of these choices are "the hard way". If you fight MY GIFTS that Derek carries that I created and intend JUST FOR YOU, you'll be wasting "precious play time".

So, I had to decide which I liked more: fighting, sarcasm and "games"? or precious play time? This shouldn't have been a difficult decision; except for old habits die hard.

Looking back, it has been the world (especially TV commercials) that has told me that I needed to resist. Resist being dominated! Resist being taken-advantage of! Resist conforming to silly rules!

The Truth I share with you is that I REALLY DID FIND "precious play time" in a submitted relationship to both Christ and my husband, sitting still and watching for His Gifts. And Christ and Derek are both teaching me through encouragement and love to resist. Resist loneliness and isolation! Resist the lie of power over another! Resist the world's empty, but tempting lies!

So, I encourage YOU the way I have been encouraged. Embrace the gifts that Christ has placed in people all around you. Gifts that He intends just for YOU!! Now, that's the real beauty of submission.