Webster says it is the process of making consistent or compatible.
Nope. Once again, Webster fails at defining a word to match the effect it is causing in my heart right now.
I attended the Leadership Summit this year and heard Tim Keller speak about a topic that fascinates me. In his book, The Prodigal God, he unpacks the story of the Prodigal Son. I can't wait to read this book.
One of the things he said has stayed with me day to day, prayer to prayer. Tim Keller said that we often think of the prodigal son as the one who needs to repent of all his wrongdoing and return to the Father for forgiveness. But here's what got me: Tim Keller also said that we should also consider the older son and his need to repent of his rightdoing and return to the Father for forgiveness.
What?? Oh, now you're REALLY messing with everything I know to be "true"!!
The "truth" I was taught was: be good, do what's right all the time and things will work out and you'll have the best life.
So, "repent of my rightdoing" is like trying to speak German. I've tried. It hasn't worked well. They laugh at me. Really.
The light bulb went on the other day when school started again and I was faced with driving the boys to school. I am very proud of my good driving skills and my ability to follow directional arrows and interpret colors painted on curbs. This is not an area of pride, evidently, for many other Clovis North parents. Grace goes right out the window when I drive the "right" way in the drop-off pick-up zones. I had to really think about my motivations and admit that, at Clovis North (7:40am and 3:05pm) I would rather be "right" than gracious. That's NOT good!
And so I understand why God has placed this phrase front and center in my thoughts these days. There are many more joyful and triumphant rewards in being sensitive and grace-filled than in being in love with your "rightdoing". Wow.
In the last 5 days, I have witnessed (or been told about) BIG moves of God that each involve letting go of what's "right" and, instead, staying sensitive to His Holy Spirit.
I heard the story of a daughter who turned away from judging her mother's choices and, instead, dropped to her knees in prayer next to her sleeping mother and felt absolutely transformed. God did not transform the mother, He transformed the daughter and she repented of her "rightdoing".
I watched on Sunday morning as our church did baptism the "right" way. We baptized a woman at 9:00 and then two school-aged girls at 10:45. Each had thoughtfully prepared their testimony and it was shared with those who came to worship. It was beautiful, as always. But then our pastor, being sensitive to the Spirit of God, announced that ANYONE could now come and proclaim Christ for the first time, or they could come and be baptized as a proclamation of obedience as a Christ follower. What? In their street clothes? Where would they dry off? Would they go home dripping wet?
Seventy-nine people came forward on Sunday and, yes, in their street clothes stepped into the waters and were baptized.
Today, I called a precious woman who was once the best friend I had. She was the only one I think, besides my own mother, who was at both of my weddings. She held the left leg and Derek held the right leg as I gave birth to Blake. Precious.
It was her birthday yesterday. Today is the day after her birthday. Our hearts were knit together for so many years; but we'd drifted apart. I'm still not sure of all the reasons. We were united in so many different seasons of our lives. But, in the end, we had different philosophies about life and, maybe, had very little to talk about.
The "right" thing? Leave it alone! Why stir up old history? Your lives are different and full and no longer united. These are the "rightdoing" things that tried to kidnap my thinking. What did I do?
Well first, I went the "chicken" route. I decided to try to find her on Facebook again. I had tried before and never found her. She wasn't listed. Oh well.
Then, I had the feeling that I was not going to be able to concentrate on anything until I made the call. I looked her up on Zaba Search to be sure the phone number I had still matched. stalling.....
And then I called her. And it was busy. BUSY? Who has a busy signal anymore?
I called again a few minutes later. Still busy.
Then, I did the unexplainable. I called again. I can't tell you why except that I knew I was being sensitive to Someone Bigger than me. I also felt that my day was not going to come together until I did. Honestly, I thought I might leave a really lame (have you heard me leave messages?) day-late "Happy Birthday" message on her machine and call it "done".
But she answered. And it was SOOO great to hear her voice. I said something lame (I'm way better in writing than on the phone) and then she said the most amazing thing. She said, "This is a miracle. I'm facing a big battle in my life right now (cancer) and I have thought about you a lot. You know it's hard for me to say when I need something; but I need YOU and now [after maybe 10 years apart] you call. It's just a MIRACLE that you called."
We talked for a bit. Not long enough. We cried together and then I bawled like a baby after I hung up. She's going to call me again later today and I hope we'll talk more. If she needs me, I'm there!! No questions. No concerns about "rightdoing"
Oh yeah, I can't leave this part out of this amazing story. My friend became a follower of Christ about about twenty years ago. I was not Christian then. I had been born and raised Mormon and then had married Catholic and I was DONE with organized religion and people believing there's "more" to life. You've all heard this story.
Twenty years ago, when she shared her new love with me, I DID NOT support her. I mocked her and debated with her and when she stopped attending church due to something unfortunate and painful that happened associated with the church, I said, "I told you so!" And then I was fully supportive of her bitterness and disappointment.
Fast forward nearly a decade when I gave my life over to Christ. I told her about it. She was not excited. She didn't mock me and she wasn't rude; but she was clear that we had nothing in common in Christianity.
And then we drifted apart.
The best words I could ever imagine hearing today when I called her? As she was telling me about everything that had happened with her since we last talked, she said, "I'm back with the Lord."
God used me today (miracle that I can even be used) to show my friend that He is FAITHFUL to answer prayers and will provide everything we need and much of what we want when we align our wants with His will. What an honor!! My favorite thing to do is punch God's time clock and help in the work he doesn't even need me to help with!! And God showed me the miracle of how He brings even those, we think are the most unlikely, victoriously to Himself.
Reconciliation.
