"Mind Blown"

I had a TREMENDOUS, life-altering time with the Lord during "quiet time" last week.

Many people ask me about how to have a "quiet time".  There's no right answer.  It's personal...very personal, actually.  But I'll share what I've been doing during my "quiet time" as I tell this story.

I get up every morning and head straight to my quiet time couch.  Usually, I awaken with a prayer on my heart and, after greeting the Lord and telling Him how much I love him, I begin there.

Then, I'll turn to a devotion that is specifically scripture based.  Right now, I'm LOVING Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  I also love most devotions by Max Lucado.

I read the devotion for that day and then go into the Bible to see the scriptures that inspired it.  I ask God specifically to reveal what He wants me to know about Him through these scriptures. .  My dear friend LeAnne Varenkamp taught me to use "SOAP" each morning as I journal:

S: Scripture-write out the scripture in the Bible version you are reading
O: Observations-write out your simple observations about this Bible verse
A: Application-write out how you think this verse applies to your life right now
P: Pray-write out a prayer, praying the verse back to God

Then, sometimes, being a "word nerd" I will research a Greek or Hebrew word within the verse that's "jumping out at me" and I'll see if God has any hidden nuggets of goodness in the languages used to document the original Bible.

On October 27, I awaked with a cry of HELP in my heart!   Earlier this year, I began feeling a nudge to "step aside" from my Director of Family Ministries job.  Everything I encountered in my prayer life and in the circumstances around me confirmed that nudge, turning it (after not initially obeying it) into a full-fledged SHOVE.  So, here I was this morning, having just resigned from a perfectly good job working at a church where I love to worship.

I knew I was obeying God; but, as I worked through my two weeks of notice, I felt very confused.  It's SO counter cultural to leave a paying job (not well paying...this is a church we're talking about) for nowhere-ness.  The battle in my head was waging HEAVY!

I woke up asking God, "Am I an idiot?"  (yes, I talk "normal" to God.  He created me, so he knows me best)  "Have I turned the wrong direction?"  "Did I miss you?"  "How will we pay our bills?"  "Can't you tell me more?"

I opened the 'Jesus Calling' devotion and it said,

"As you become increasingly aware of My Presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go. This is one of the practical benefits of living close to Me. Instead of wondering about what is on the road ahead or worrying about what you should do if…or when…, you can concentrate on staying in communication with Me.When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go."

Wow.  Okay!!

Then, I researched the Bible verse that inspired her devotion.  It was Psalm 32:8.  And I wrote it down in my journal:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Only, I accidentally wrote it this way:

I will instruct you and teach you in the ways you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Hearing a gentle whisper to, "Look at the verse again" I noticed that I had written 'ways' instead of 'way'.  So, I said to the Lord, "Isn't that just like me, Lord.  Running around in many 'ways' when there is only one 'way'?"  And, being a well trained copy editor, I struck out the extra letter that didn't belong.  

But, now it looked like this:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way$ you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

"Oh no, Lord! Now it looks like a dollar sign!!"  

And then I heard in my soul,  "Sweet one, you often 'run around' in many 'ways' because of money, when there is only ONE WAY and I have prepared that one way for you.  Stop."  

Convicted.  I sat convicted.  I use my responsibility strength and administration gift in our home to pay the bills and, sometimes, I worry about where the money will come from.  I didn't think it affected my decision-making very much; but here was our Lord telling me He didn't enjoy or approve of my 'way$'. 

Wow.

After getting this all written down (won't my kids love these stories?) I decided I had time enough to research the Hebrew words in this scripture.  Which one?  

Well, I knew that in the New Testament Jesus refers to Himself as 'The Way'.   I wondered what word in the Old Testament Hebrew would be the word for 'the way'.

My favorite "word nerd" site for this kind of research is www.biblesuite.com.  I opened this site and clicked on the word 'way' within this verse to reveal it's Hebrew history.

What I saw took my breath away!

I was asking God to show me 'the way' and the Hebrew word in that particular verse is DEREK?  Are you kidding me?

For those of you that know me, Derek is my earthly rock, my best friend, my husband.  Given as a gift to me by God, I firmly believe.

I couldn't wait to share this with the family!

Blake immediately tweeted, "Mind Blown".

Bryson loved every minute of our time together hearing from God. I could tell that his admiration of his father was growing again.

And Derek was clearly moved and humbled.

And me?  Unashamedly willing to admit that I had been, once again, "striving in the flesh" instead of resting in the arms of the ONE, the I AM, who created me and created 'the way' for me to live...never in fear or confusion...but in complete Faith.

So, I'm unemployed and quietly waiting at the feet of Jesus for Him to reveal His 'way'.

Getting Weird at the End of the School Year

My dad was an air traffic controller and pilot for fun.  My mother was a stewardess.  Life's analogies for me often appear in terms of airplanes and flying.

So this morning, after dropping off the kids at their schools, I found myself thinking about the pace that comes at the end of school.  I decided that, with multiple children and a foreign exchange student in the home, the end of the school year feels more like bracing for a Sioux City, Iowa crash landing than placing my seat back and tray table into the locked and upright position and gliding into a "normal" landing.

Awards assemblies, yearbooks, youth group potlucks, finals, preparing exchange students and host families for the students' departures, band concerts, graduation, graduation parties, gifts for teachers...the list is long and exhaustive.  And potentially exhausting.

I recently finished a powerhouse of a book called Weird...because normal is not working, by Craig Groeschel. You can read more about this book here.  I'm continuing to learn that the difference between exhausting high-speed living and comprehensive high-capacity living is focusing on staying "weird".

When I'm "normal" I say, "Yes" to everything and complain to everyone within listening distance about "how overloaded" I am.  I pretend like I'm complaining; but I'm really bragging about how terrific I must be.

When I'm "weird" I focus on saying, "Yes" to those activities with lasting significance at the beginning of the year SO THAT our Stephens family can continue our tradition of family dinners at the dinner table together.

Let's examine one recent common end of year activity:  The End of Year Band Concert.  If your child is not playing an instrument this year, you can easily substitute sports playoff game, awards assembly, science fair...you get the idea.

When I'm "normal" I spend the entire band concert texting and talking on my phone in the back of the room.  Or I even step outside to make or take calls.  There are so many details to handle, after all!  When I'm not texting or talking on my phone, I'm trying to connect socially with the other moms in the room (taking roll, if you will) so that we can meet later and commiserate about our busyness.

When I'm "weird" I spend the entire band concert making eye contact with each of the children on the stage, smiling and cheering them on!!  I am not thinking of the next place I need to be.  I am concentrating on being fully present. And I file some moments away in my mind so that I can show the kids how important they are by retelling specific parts of the concert where I was proud of their behavior or the behavior of a classmate.  I focus on stories that will build their character.  My phone is put away (unless I use it to take a picture or two).  And, whenever possible, the pictures I take are of our child flanked by Nana and Papa and Sissy and Bo SO THAT our children can recall and remember the devotion of family and reproduce it later in their own lives and families.

I commit to being weird that God would be Glorified and pleased and for the lasting effects on the next generation!!

Join me?